The 105 Cute Funny Valentines Day Quotes

On Valentines Day, a day filled with Love all around.
Where flowers had never bloomed more beautifully than before, grasses are greener, the air is crisp and fresh, sweet smiles are everywhere, and money is never spared as Love drunk couples spend luxuriously for each other.
Move away from that plain old mushy quotes from the traditional past of Valentine’s celebration and level up the fun with these pack of funny jokes made for you.
Anyway, not all people are in Love, so it is just but right to share the joy of Love by giving smiles to those who have no dates today.

Valentine’s day is extraordinary; indeed, it is the only day for a double celebration! Where couples celebrate and singles mourn.

I have 364 days in a year in my calendar, and it is not a leap year or so; it is because I do not count Valentine as a day.

I will be your garbage man when your boyfriend dumps you; I will be the one to pick you up.

You are faster than today because I haven’t started my day yet, and you have completed it already.

I think my watch is destroyed or something because time seems to stop when I am with you.


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Love is a disease where the minds are irrational but will still give one reason

Valentines Day is a day where couples demand each other Love that they have not made each other feel for the last 364 days

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Keep Calm and buy her what she wants.

Maybe Valentine’s day was taught about by a woman! Women scheme to get what they want!

Why is the weather so cold on Valentine’s day? This is so unfair for single people like me!

Good to be single on Valentine’s day, then run out of stash

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I love you more than Pizza, said no one ever

Oh, Valentine’s day?! Maybe next year.

Is it ever possible that a couple will break up on the exact Valentines day?

Anyone can be a couple but it leaps effort to be partners

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The battle between men and women rests for Valentine.

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Every Valentine’s day, it takes harder to understand a woman

If she is in her period, good luck to you on Valentine.

I went to the doctor today, and he said that I have a terrible disease, and better go I C U.

They said, whenever we are together, I look like a farmer. I got mad and asked why?! They said it is because you look like a cow.

Happy 6th Birthday

I hope my crush is an assignment so that I can take her home

My girlfriend surprised me with her being tied up in our bedroom last Valentine’s day? She told me I could do anything I wanted, so I went to the club to party. It was her best gift ever!

If you ever feel sad on Valentine’s day, do not worry; it is the same as your other days.

It is only one day where couples celebrate Valentine’s day; the rest of the year is for singles to keep!

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I wish that Valentine’s day will become a day for leap year. So we will only celebrate it once in four years.

Valentines is a perfect day to sleep all day!


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Men plan more on Valentine’s day than that on their final examination in school.

I need to have a love life this Valentine’s day; It has been a long time since I had a problem.

Are you a surgeon? Because you are the only one who can open my heart.

Is there a possibility that a person celebrates Valentine’s day with a different person every year? Because if he does, then that is one hell of a celebration!

I bought myself some flowers and chocolate today, so my friends won’t’ bum me out about not having one!

Do you need a bucket? Because your beauty is overflowing.

When I was a little kid, I always had a high standard for the man I would date; now, I have to make sure that he’s indeed a man first!

Are you fed up with the noise already? Because my heart kept shouting your name since a while ago.


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I wish that you are the rain and I am the ground. No matter how much you may hurt me, you will always fall to me.

Can I sit with you during exams because I am perfect with you by my side!

Love should be tagged as an illegal drug! Please!


Are you running for senator? Because my parents vote for you as my girlfriend.

Love is like tuna; it is good for the heart.

Are you my master because you have enslaved my heart


Your Love is like traffic; I cannot move on!

Are you a lending company? Because the longer I do not pay, the higher is my interest in you.

Are you some pit?! Because I am falling for you

Do you own Crayola? Because you are the only one who gives colour to my world


Valentine’s day! Spare me! I beg of you! What wrong did I ever do to you!!

My professor told me to follow my dreams, so I became a stalker

My girlfriend and I have separated already; She asked me if she’d’ wanted to be wed, I did not allow her.


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If you want to be a philosopher, do not get married

You are like a personalized t-shirt; the moment I saw you, I knew you were made for me.

The heart knows everything and nothing at the same time.


Love is like vitamins! It makes my life complete!

I think I am pretty bad at shooting because I am always missing you

Love is like a yoyo, no matter how you push it. It keeps coming back.

Are you an alarm clock? Because you woke up my sleeping heart


A perfect love affair is a fictional book scattered on a sea of shelves.

Are you Google? Because everything that I am asking for, I have found in you.


I wouldn’t say I like Cupid and his murderous plans of long time torture concealed in the name of Love.

Are triangles your favourite shape? Because you are beautiful in all angles

Love is a curse and a blessing all at once

If I had put on weight, would you still be my Valentine?

If you love him, let go; if he comes back, he did not have a fare

I have no Valentine’s date! Anyway, it’s’ okay; food is Love, food is life.

Love is insanity cured through an illusion that it is perfect

I do not know when the universe will end; what I know is that it started with U N I

Money can’t’ buy Love, FALSE! Money just bought my girlfriend a diamond ring!

How do you know when you’re’ in Love? When even the rock’s existence on the ground makes sense to you.

Valentines is like an extended Christmas day exclusively for women!

Love is the same feeling when the waiter finally arrives at your table to give you your food.

You are like a password; I cannot forget about you

Oops! Love is in the air! Now, where did I put my pest spray?

About 50% of marriages end in divorce, and over 98% of pizza deliveries come on time; Pizza gains over Love by one point!


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I have tasted all the sweets in the world, but nothing is sweeter than your smile.

People love dating; I will sleep this Valentine’s Day to get the girl of my dreams, indeed!

Love is being willing to die for someone that you want to kill.

How come your hands are so small, yet you hold my very world and life

Are your darkness? Because I cannot seem to see anything when I am with you.

Love is missing some of your teeth, but still having the courage to smile because you know that someone will still accept you for it . . .or maybe not.

If you are ready to admit the things that you have not done, that is the time that you are prepared to get married.

Is it Valentine’s day tomorrow? I have to set my alarm to 9:00 in the evening then.

Remembering Valentine’s Day is a friendly reminder to single and lonely people that no special someone romantically loves them. Way to go, Valentines!

If I were a planet, I want you to be my axis so that my world will only revolve around you.

Are you a thief? Because I will give you everything so that you won’t’ hurt me.

I do not even understand why they have chosen Cupid as a character for Valentine! Being struck by an arrow by a little fat kid is not even romantic!

Why is there an intense force of pressure for us single individuals when Valentine is coming! Geez!

New money-saving advice! Break with her on February 13 and get back on the 15th!

If you celebrate Christmas because they believe in God, Why do you celebrate Valentine if no one likes you?

Are you a television show? Because you are too fun to watch and stare at

I am sorry I forgot your name, may I call you mine?

Is it Valentine’s day today? No! it is Sunday, you fool!

I never cared about Valentine, I am single, fabulous, and I love it!

Do you have a date this Valentine’s day?! Why yes! We have, it is February 14!

If they say they are falling in love, believe me, darling, gravity has nothing to do with that.

Roses are red; Violets are blue; beer would sound sweeter than spending Valentine with you.

Posting on Facebook your complaints about Valentine is the reason you are alone on Valentine’s day.

Women nowadays are not satisfied with flowers and sweet candies on Valentine’s day; they want the hard stuff! DIAMONDS!

Happy Valentines day funny quotes

I’d ask if you wanted to be my Valentine this year, but you have no choice because we’re married!

Today is Valentine’s day. Or as we men like to call it, Extortion Day

You will never be alone on Valentine’s day if you visit a lake and take bread.

You’re my favourite pain in the ass. Happy Valentine’s day!

You are my favourite thing to do. Happy Valentine’s day!

If you’re alone on Valentine’s day, don’t think about breaking someone’s heart. Think about breaking their bones. They have over two hundred of them.

Valentine’s day – the day of the year that men remember how bad a shot Cupid is with his bow.

You know he loves you when he’s lost interest in his car for more than a few days.

I wanted to have an exceptional Valentine’s day. So I tied my partner up and had fun for three hours. I had control of the remote for the TV and got to watch whatever I wanted!


My husband is like a fire. He goes out when left unattended.

Love is a fantastic thing. It makes you believe without question someone that you would typically regard as suspicious.

Being married is great. I have found the one person I want to annoy for the rest of my life. My wife! Especially by forgetting Valentine’s Day.

This year on Valentine’s Day. I am planning to enjoy a long romantic walk to and from the fridge.

We should celebrate not having to celebrate Valentine’s day.

I can’t wait for the day after Valentine’s Day. Discounted chocolate everywhere!

I am not in a relationship this Valentine’s Day because I haven’t found someone who can handle all of my awesomeness.

Roses are red; violets are blue. Valentine’s day sucks, and so do you.