Top 45 Funny Christmas Sayings and Quotes

We all have come across some nice funny Christmas sayings that have been used over and over again. Here is a new list of unique saying that are not only funny but also worth sharing.
Oh am sorry, I didn’t notice you are an expert on how I should behave on Christmas! Please continue while I take the notes.

Am not rushing to get a new hair style for Christmas, I will get one new on the Christmas morning from my bedroom.

Anyone who tries to equate men to women, then she has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas gift.

Can I keep you forever? You are the perfect gift i would never like to lose for this Christmas.

Everybody gets so much information about Christmas such that they lose their common sense.

I wish Santa brings you the gift of never ending happiness this Christmas.


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I hope you like my new Christmas cake recipe. They are called shut the hellupcakes, its Christmas.

Shhh… I just farted on Christmas.

Christmas has been canceled. Unfortunately you told Santa that you’ve been good. He died laughing.

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The best Christmas is the one that wraps all the family to one another.

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I couldn’t afford a present this year’s Christmas, so I wrapped myself for you.

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Santa saw your Face-book Page. Now you are on the naughty list and won’t get anything.

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Christmas is love in action, act on it now.

Dear Santa, in 2015 all I ask for is a fat bank account and a slim body.

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Laughter is the best medicine for this holiday, but if laugh with no reason then you need some medicine.

Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.

Last Christmas i gave you my heart, the following day you gave it away.

Christmas is not an external event, it’s an event born from your heart.

If a fat man puts you in a bag, don’t worry, I requested Santa to have you for Christmas.

One thing women doesn’t like to find on the Christmas morning in their stockings, is their husbands.

Why Christmas is just like any other day in office, I always find the big man come and take all the credit away in the evening.

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Every minute of the Christmas day is important. It one day at a time.


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Christmas is not about just opening presents. It’s also about opening our hearts.

The reason why Santa is so happy this Christmas, it’s because he recognizes where all the loving ladies live.

The best thing about Christmas is that its compulsory and we all can’t speak.

Christmas is the time you get some homesick even when you at your house.

One stunning messes ever created, it’s the mess created on the Christmas day at the table. Never clear it.

Christmas is the time to kindle the blaze of generosity and the heat of charity.

Presents of kindness and love are the best gifts for a true merry.

At Christmas day every road leads me home.


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It’s the Christmas in your heart that puts the Christmas on the table.

Instead of having an unusual behavior, this day is probably the most unique day in the calendar.

When i was a kid i was pleased with those who fit our legs with stockings on holiday but now we are ungrateful because our legs filled the stockings.


I wonder if we could put a jar of the Santa oneness and open it every month when we feel like.


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From an entrepreneurial point of view it is advisable to invent Christmas if it not exist.


Merry Christmas quotes

I sometimes think that we insanely anticipate a lot from Christmas. It’s just a burden to the day itself.


Christmas is the time you purchase a year old gift with the New Year’s cash.

If Christmas wishes were chocolates and biscuits it would be an unforgettable celebration for Christmas

I saw how safely you stored the fireworks last holiday, you will snarl them this Christmas.


There is no other big mistake other than to wake on Christmas and pretend not to be a kid.


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Keep your Christmas heart open all year round.

I never loved this Santa Claus thing because I knew that no white guy would come to my home from the darkness.

Though grown up now, I extremely get it hard to sleep on the Christmas Eve.

Which Christmas is most important to me? It’s the next Christmas.

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It hits you its Christmas when all kids start wearing new similar clothing.

I don’t want much this Christmas, I just want the person reading this to be loved.


May your fun be large in this 2015 Christmas holiday and your bills be small.

Let my love for you become the Christmas star, when you are in doubts let my feelings be the Christmas lights.

Hope you get the best gift of all, hope, peace and love.

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Unforgettable is the moments that engages the world in the conspiracy of love.

I miss the Christmas wave of joy. It’s deeper than the ocean tide and comes only once a year.

Keeping Christmas is good, but sharing it with others it’s even better.

Love makes all things beautiful. Are you coated by the Christmas love?

You are special and unique, is your second name Christmas.

Your smile is contagious, please pass it to us and we all have a Christmas.

Peace on earth will come to stay when we live Christmas every day.


Santa will you come and join the merry? You won’t regret our feast.

Give some to the ones with less, and we will all become Santa’s someday.

Every-time we love, every-time we give, it’s Christmas my friend.

The only blind person at Christmas day is the only one who doesn’t share the love of the day to the other.

Christmas is the only day that holds the 364 days together.

All other days live to see the Christmas day love and envy by saying “when I grow up, I wanna be a Christmas day.”

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Funny Christmas card sayings

My partner’s idea of getting into the festive spirit is to act like Scrooge.

Santa has had the right idea all along. Visiting family only once per year. Genius!

One of the advantages of not having children is never experiencing the dread on Christmas Eve when you realize all the packaging on the gifts you have bought for your children say Assembly required

One thing I love about Christmas is that you can make anyone you have wronged forget about the past with a present.


Christmas is great. Not only do I get a lot of gifts I want to keep. I also get plenty of gifts I can exchange. Saves me never having to buy anyone a present!

So Santa hides behind a large beard and has no income, but he can afford to give away billions of presents and flies to every city across the world every year. Are we sure Santa isn’t money laundering?

Christmas is here again. Let’s raise a cup of cheer. And make the men do the washing up.

T’is the time of year to buy this season’s gifts with next year’s money. It’s Christmas!

Pets, and their owners, like to expand over the Christmas vacation.

I left out gluten-free milk and cookies for Santa this year. They were still there when I woke up.

Christmas is the season where people seem to lose their sense of taste. Mature adults decide it’s best to celebrate by drinking a beverage made from cottage cheese and raw egg and call it nice.

What I don’t like about work Christmas parties is the possibility I might have to look for a job the next day after I have suitably embarrassed myself.

Mentally: I am totally read for Christmas. Financially? I’ll never be ready.

Have you all forgotten the true meaning of Christmas? The birth of Santa!