The 85 Funny Happy Birthday Wishes

Birthdays are all about being happy, about being joyful enough to celebrate an occasion of birth. There is something about being born into this world and being able to live a life that you want to that must be celebrated in the best way that is possible. A birthday is something to be celebrated, something to give importance to, a day to look forward to, and an event that no one can ruin for the birthday celebrant unless he lets them to. A birthday is one of the most sacred occasions and the importance varies from one to another person but the essence remains the same. One of the best things life has to offer is a celebration with your family and friends and you can never forget to greet them so you at least try on making them happy. Some of the things you can do on someone’s birthday is to give him a gift, be with him, treat him some food, arrange a party or simply greet him. If you want him to smile as he reads your birthday wishes, then below are some funny happy birthday wishes for all your friends and family that they will surely enjoy.

What are we celebrating for and why do you all look so gloomy, just kidding, what I meant is that happy birthday to you, my friend and I hope you are at peace!

What has a tail, no arms and legs nor wings but flies up high in the sky? They are your birthday balloons waiting to greet you with some funny happy birthday wishes.

You know what is funny about you, it is the way you like random things at the most unexpected times that makes things funny, enjoy this birthday of yours.


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If you just keep walking, you will eventually get to where you want to be, of course that is if you do not keep on making stops whenever you feel tired, have fun today!

Happy birthday, you are fun to be with, like a clown, that makes people laugh, or like someone that can make someone smile for no reason, I wish you the best.

I wanted to be with you but I realized I cannot because I am afraid that you will realize how beautiful I am if I do that, have an amazing birthday!

As another year passes, I am thankful that you, after all these years, remain eighteen.

Wisdom comes with age, but unfortunately he missed your birthday.

I wish for you on this day of your birth all the blessing of the universe because otherwise I can’t afford anything else. Happy Birthday!

May all the aches and pains you have acquired through the years give you a day off on your birthday.

I only put one candle on your cake this year because otherwise the cake would be on fire. Happy Birthday!

Be thankful that this year is not the age you’ll be next year!

One perk of getting older is that you’re supposed to have more authority.

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Maybe the Grim Reaper forgot you again this year. Happy Birthday!

At least you’re still walking and have all your teeth and hearing! Happy Birthday!

Funny Happy Birthday Quotes

100 Happy Birthday

Birthdays are the time of the year people are required to give you attention. Lap it up!

At least that hike over the hill will keep you healthy. Happy Birthday!

The only reason I’m greeting you on your birthday is because I know you have cake.

I don’t think we should light all the candles for your birthday cake. I don’t want to call the fire department when it sets your house on fire.

As the years pass and you get older, memories fade and the world gets colder. Don’t worry about it, it’s the life you make, have your fun and eat your cake!

You know as well as I do that we’re getting older, so it’s not my fault I forgot your birthday. Belated greetings!

The 105 Funny Birthday Wishes

Better not bitter! Greetings on your birthday!


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Elvis must have been really great live. Happy birthday!

I bet astronauts can see the light from the candles on your cake from space.

Being young in shape and carefree is a wonderful feeling. I bet it’s been years since you felt that way. Happy Birthday!

A person can choose when he goes over the hill. Some people, however, cannot because they have a bad back and it’s been years since they last exercised. Happy Birthday!

The 60 Happy Birthday Brother in Law

It’s okay to lie about your age. Twenty-one has suited you for the past ten years.

It’s not so bad to get older. You can finally be grumpy and contrary and people will just blame it on your age instead of your personality!

Just think of yourself aging like fine wine, the older you get, the more value you have!

Good friends are those who remember your birthday but not remind you of it. Real friends rub it in your face.


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You can pretend that instead of a birthday, your body is having an anniversary. You’re still open!

The 60 Goodnight Quotes

It’s great that another birthday has passed, and death has passed you by.


Antique is a distinguished title. Happy Birthday.

The nice thing about getting older is that now you know what not to do but still enough time to keep doing it!

Don’t let those dentures go to waste. Smile, it’s your birthday!

Your pants might not fit, but there is still a lot of room in your heart. Happy Brithday!

My father always says, Good men die young. You’re neither good or young, so basically you’re immortal! Happy Birthday!

Living is a full time job, and you’re employee of the month. Happy birthday!

At least you’re not yet you in ten years. Ba happy!

I guess it must have been great to see the dinosaurs walk the earth back in the day. Enjoy your birthday!

Goodness, that’s a lot of candles I can barely see the cake!

It’s nice to have birthdays as you get older. By then all your friends can afford better presents.

At this point, you’re probably as wise as Plato. Happy Birthday!

Good job of living this long. Here is a greeting and a present as your reward. Happy birthday!


Time has a way of allowing women to be twenty-nine for the next ten years. Enjoy the perk! Joyous Birthday!

Drink a lot of water, always apply moisturizer, and smile. You’ll always look good to me! Happy Birthday.

Even the CIA doesn’t know your real age, but I do! My gift to you is helping it stay a secret.

Time is only an illusion. So is that fact that you’re still twenty-five. Happy birthday!

The cake we ordered to get all your candles to fit is so big they had to keep it outside since it won’t fit the door.


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A lot of people around the world are having birthdays today, but only yours matters to me.

You are at the point of your life where the only way to be younger is to claim that you’re older.


I hope someone got you fire insurance for your birthday. You’ll need it when the candles on your cake set your house on fire!

Just because you have less hair on your head, doesn’t mean we love you any less. Happy Birthday!

Aren’t you glad you’re not a teenager anymore? Life doesn’t get any better than that. Happy Birthday!

Just think of your birthday as a scene from your own personal Lifetime movie and be glad it isn’t near the end.

Try not to break anything! Happy birthday!


I saw a picture of you on a documentary about Ancient Egypt. It was on one of the hieroglyphics. Happy birthday!

You’re getting older but at least you’re not a member of the Rolling Stones.

On your birthday, remember to count all your blessing and not you wrinkles!

You’re older today but at least with your years you acquired great make-up skills! Keep looking good.

The nice thing about getting older is you are now able to pay your bills on time and remember your doctor’s appointments!

You are now at that age where you put money in birthday cards instead of receiving them.


Feliz Ano Nuevo! Or the Spanish equivalent of telling you your body is going south.

There is nothing wrong with going over the hill. In fact, when you’re on top, stay there because the view is fantastic!

If I wish you for all your dreams to come true on your birthday, I’m sure there will be space for me on that luxury yacht as you are served champagne and strawberries by handsome hunks in thongs. So may all your wishes come true and have a Happy Birthday!


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I wanted to get you the perfect gift for your birthday, but unfortunately, George Clooney is already married!

You know you’ve aged when you can’t handle your hangovers as well as you used to. Take it easy, you wild animal.

It’s your birthday and today you’re special. Not like you don’t act like it the rest of the year, but we love you anyway!

I bought you a gift for your birthday but unfortunately, I ate it and it was delicious!

There was a sale on life plans and I got you brochures!

I got you a card for your birthday but I didn’t put any money in it because you’re old. Enjoy the card!


It is never too late to relive your childhood! Just because you are ancient doesn’t mean you can’t rent a bouncy house. Just be careful since you might break something. Happy Birthday!

It is a special time of the year where I greet your twin before you because I always save the best for last.

I got you a gym membership for your birthday. Exercise will help you on your way to getting over the hill!

You know you’re old when people start giving you health food and age appropriate gifts for your birthday.

You can keep your gray hair and call it trendy. Have a fabulous birthday!

You can’t turn back the clock but you can take out the batteries. Here’s to ignoring the passing of time! Happy Birthday!

You ought to expect the mayor to give you a centennial card and cash for your birthday.

I’d buy you dinner for your birthday but you can’t chew steak anymore so that’s a bust. Here’s a greeting instead!

I wish for you at this point in your life to meet a vampire so you can be preserved for the rest of your life! Happy Birthday!

Getting older does let you do whatever you want, but it also means that what you want is nothing like what you used to be. Time lends perspective, so enjoy staying in on your birthday!

Remember when you used to hate being asked for your ID to buy drinks? Getting older isn’t so bad after all!

Retirement isn’t so bad since you finally get to spend what you’ve been working for your whole life. Just a few years more and that dream will soon become a reality. Happy Birthday!

On your birthday you can act any way you want, provided your body agrees! Here’s to good health and old age!


There is nothing wrong with laugh lines on your eyes. It just means your life was full of laughter and joy which is what I wish for you on your birthday!

You can make your birthday as happy as you want it. Now where is the booze?

Birthdays are there to remind you that you need to renew your driver’s license and when they won’t issue another one because your eyesight isn’t as good anymore.

No matter what happens, know that I’ll always pretend to not know your real age when you tell young people. Happy Birthday!

The amount of candles on your cake is contributing to global warming. Happy Birthday!

The secret to a long life must be wine and chocolate. I mean, you’ve been eating it for years and you’re positively ancient! Happy Birthday!

It doesn’t matter that your body is out of shape as long as your mind stays sharp. Except when you keep forgetting where you put things. That doesn’t count. Happy Birthday!

The true sign of old age is pretending you forgot your own birthday!

Having birthdays seems to give you a longer life. Have a happy one!

The worst part of having a birthday is when all your friends can’t come because they’re dead. So be glad you’re not that old! Happy birthday!